Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is back and mopier than ever. You see, after a paper cut on her 18th birthday causes Bella to nearly become a plate of Cullen crullers, her emaciated and pasty boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) comes to a decision. It’s time for him and the rest of his incestuous breed of bloodsucking ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ to pack up their industrial sized tubs of pancake makeup, hair gel, and their bulk, shared lipstick tubes and head for… well, the movie never says where they go, it just says that they’re gone....

3.15 There’s Some Fear In Letting Go Most of the episode is tragic and violent, so it starts us off with a huge, wonderful reward: the long-delayed union of Big Ed and Norma. I’ll admit, it was abrupt. I suppose we’re meant to understand that Nadine and Jacoby (alias Dr. Amp)’s connection two episodes back led to her decision to let Ed go, but it still seems a little sudden and easy....

It’s time for the President’s annual holiday party for congressional members and their families and everyone is searching for their secret Santa, even if the White House officially celebrates all religions with equal reverence and disregard. At one point Meyer suggests putting up some pictures of the prophet Mohammed because “what’s the harm?” The national election ended in a tie and President Meyer is giving out as many pieces of Air Force One as local politicians can load in their minivans to keep her in the White House for another four years....

Roland dips into his full bag of action movie tricks for White House Down, a movie in which the White House is taken over by a group of military operatives, right-wing terrorists, computer hackers, and other people with axes to grind against the administration of President Sawyer (Jamie Foxx). The terrorists strike hard and quickly, mopping up the security forces and taking over the building with skillful precision. The only person standing in their way is Capitol Police officer John Cale (Channing Tatum), who was unlucky enough to be interviewing for a Secret Service job in the building with his daughter Emily (Joey King) at his side....

Why is that, exactly? Besides the obvious reasons—we’ve all grown older, become better gamers, and simply no longer have the free time we used to—there’s the fact that there are so many more games out there to enjoy. What’s to stop us from hopping in a match of League of Legends, running a dungeon in Final Fantasy XIV, doing some PvP in Guild Wars 2, and then calling it a night?...

The Greatest Showman, an unabashed movie musical loosely based on the life of P.T. Barnum, just hit theaters. It is a delightful celebration of the musical genre with imaginative visuals, well-crafted song and dance numbers, and a broad strokes message of acceptance that offers a few hours of feel-good escapism in an end-of-year climate that desperately needs it. Today, the biggest movies may be superhero flicks, but there was a time when movie musicals were the dominant Hollywood genre, and when people paid big bucks to see their favorite stars burst out into song and dance on a regular basis....

Let’s look at the evidence here: He conned his way into our hearts and our good books with The Nightmare Before Christmas. Utterly undisputed genius and a must-see around Christmas and Halloween (especially if you ever spend Halloween with our very own Sarah Dobbs). Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood are firmly among my favourite films, and so this only served to enhance the false sense of security into which we had been lulled....

Over at Moviefone, he was asked why a third Airplane! movie never happened. Airplane! 2: The Sequel, of course, took place without the direct involvement of the original ZAZ creative trio (David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker), so a third movie in the series should have been possible. But, it seems, Hays put his foot down. Hays added that “I was in London doing a film called Scandalous, at the time, and they were negotiating for doing Airplane 3, and it had really gotten to me....

Jim’s next film is Yes Man, based on the extremely popular and highly likeable book by the equally popular and likeable Danny Wallace. As the trailer shows, Carey’s character is a natural pessimist, someone who says ‘no’ to everything and everyone for the sake of an easy life. When he visits a seminar, he ends up saying ‘yes’ to everything and everyone, with ‘hilarious’ consequences. I don’t mind Jim doing comedy, far from it....

This season, like its essential character has done in the past, 24 came back from the dead to reach its 200th episode. “I can promise you when we started the show, this thing wasn’t even in our minds,” said series Co-creator and Executive Producer Robert Cochran to reporters this week. “We were trying to get to Episode 2. We’re very thankful for it.” Ceremony aside, episode 199 left a ton of questions lingering....

7.12 & 7.13 Hogcock! & Last Lunch This past half-season of 30 Rock has functioned something like the closing scenes of The Wizard of Oz. In turn, each of TGS’ rag-tag gang received their long-desired gift: Jack became CEO of Kabletown, Liz became a mother, Jenna married her gender dysmorphic bi-genitalia pansexual husband, and Kenneth became the president of the network. All of which meant that there was very little to wrap up plot-wise by the time the finale arrived....

Agents of SHIELD Season 4 Episode 12 New viewers tuning into Marvel’s Agent of SHIELD this week might think that they are seeing double because some top notch acting talent was pulling some double and triple duty as the hunt for the Darkhold takes a startling turn. Let’s talk about the Darkhold for the moment. The Marvel Cinematic Universe has been built on McGuffins. From Tony Stark’s arc reactor, to the tesseract, to the infinity stones, many a Marvel tale has been driven by the need to find a plot powering object....

With the universe concept a major drawing power of the comics, allowing team-ups and crossovers aplenty, one wonders how surprised we should be that Marvel and, to some extent, DC, are trying to bring the idea to their movies as well. Regardless of how far this ever gets – the politics of such a move are staggering – the intention is there to move the integration into films. But let’s hold up a second....

1.2 The Secret Of Spoons Why else would Wednesday want to drive to Chicago to meet with a skull-crushing maniac and a vodka-swilling fortune teller? And why else would Shadow get beaten up by a toad-skin smoking kid in a virtual reality limo? And why on earth would Lucille Ball (Gillian Anderson as Media) appear on the TVs at a big-box store and offer to flash skin in exchange for Shadow switching teams?...

Everyone thinks he’s persian, but he’s actually Armenian. Not that his ethnicity really matters, as he’s got plans for the house. Sure he tells Vivien and Moira that he wants to put in a pool in the backyard and move in, which sounds like the answer to everyone’s prayers. Vivien gets to leave the house behind and Moira gets to get her grave dug up in the pool-making process, which will a) get her put into a decent grave and give her freedom and b) will get Constance thrown in jail for murder....

5.3 Mommy The story of the relationship between Ramona and Countess is told in a very subtle montage. The two in an elevator. As the elevator descends, blacking out and flashing light again, the years change at the bottom, throughout the 70s and 80s into the early 90s. As the years change, fashions change. Disco gives way to New Wave gives way to Madonna at her peak, with both actresses changing clothes, hair, makeup, and positions… making out, arm in arm, cuddling close, on opposite sides of the elevator… it’s clever and a great way to show the two slowly growing apart....

The latest episode has a lot more going on than the previous two and we’re introduced to another “legend” character, Blake Oakfield, the pro surfer. Blake is the ‘hot shot’ surfer, who now resides in his hometown with his group of friends called The Mucca Mad Boys. They have an on-going rivalry with The Fennel Hell Men over their beach, to get the best surf, and there’s an extensive re-enactment to show their history with each other, which dates back about twenty years....

But while it’ll definitely give you the creeps, Annabelle won’t stand up to close scrutiny. Set a couple of years before The Conjuring, in a small Californian community where everyone goes to church on Sundays and no-one locks their doors, this is the origin story of the creepy doll that’s locked safely away in the ghostbusting Warrens’ basement. Turns out, she wasn’t always evil: she was bought as a gift by medical student John (Ward Horton) for his very pregnant wife, Mia (Annabelle Wallis)....

Arrested Development Season 5 Episode 4 A lot of the same problems that have plagued the early episodes of Arrested Development Season 5 remain present in “Old Start, An.” The episode is too long, the editing is sloppy, and at least one character is entirely missing (sorry Linds). It’s also the only episode of season five thus far that can confidently be labeled as a success. The difference between “Old Start, An” and everything that comes before It is fairly simple: this one is funny....

Just a quick recap: Moira Queen is on trial for her involvement in the quake that killed 503 residents of Starling City. As the title suggests, “State v. Queen” deals with her trial, which has been building up all season. In a flashback at the top of the episode, we witness Count Vertigo’s quake-assisted escape from prison. Now, he’s selectively poisoning folks (including Diggle) with a new version of Vertigo which skips the high and goes straight for the flu-like withdrawal symptoms....