It’s hard to know where to begin summing up the plot, because it’s incredibly convoluted in a way that suggests the filmmakers hadn’t quite made up their minds what the story should be about. But let’s try to make some sense of it anyway. Due to adverse weather conditions, most of the flights out of the East Midlands Airport have been cancelled, but one plane manages to take off regardless. Only about ten people are aboard, and they’re all badly written caricatures. There’s a Cockney gangster and his body guards, a couple of soldiers, a mysterious old man, an amorous couple, some pretty air hostesses, and some guy with no discernible character traits who is presumably supposed to function as a kind of everyman. Adding another layer of stupidity to the proceedings, the drama on the plane is interspersed with scenes set in the airport’s control room, as the airline staff try to figure out why the plane is going in the wrong direction and the pilots won’t answer their calls. In his first and, probably, last appearance in a British film, Mark Hamill plays an air traffic controller on the brink of retirement who’s called upon to try to sort out the mess. He gets to pull a few very sincere faces and deliver a few lines of ominous voiceover, but really, his role could have been played by anyone. It’s a stretch to even describe him as the star of the film, since the narrative is so jumbled that there isn’t really a star. Or a main character. Or a character of any description. It’s all just kind of tedious. The overall message of the film, bizarrely, is that sometimes bad things happen to good people. It’s a line that’s repeated several times throughout the course of the film, just in case you weren’t paying attention the first time. It’s apt, too. Here, the ‘bad thing’ is this film, and the ‘good people’ include anyone unfortunate enough to have sat through it. And there’s Mark Hamill, too: perhaps the scariest thing about this movie is the crushing realisation that age will come to us all, even if we used to be Luke Skywalker. No-one can escape the ravages of time, but Hamill really deserved better than this. Let’s all watch Star Wars again to cheer ourselves up. Follow Den Of Geek on Twitter right here. And be our Facebook chum here.