American Horror Story: Season 5, Episode 12
The one thing I didn’t expect from the last episode of Hotel was a happy ending. After the death of the Countess last week I expected the finale to be a showdown between the Lowes and Sally with Liz and Iris caught in the middle. Instead Sally was too busy with her Instagram and Twitter accounts to even remember that she wanted John Lowe dead. Sally embracing social media to fill the hole in her lonely soul was just one of the sweet n’ cheesy resolutions to otherwise horrifying storylines we were treated to. Or at least that’s how the first half of the episode ends. After Liz’s half we get to see what John is up to after we jump to Devil’s Night 2022. Billie Dean Howard from season 1 is back and poking around the Hotel Cortez trying to get an interview with the ghost of John Lowe. Yup, old John bites it on the way home from getting some blood for his vampire wife and child. The police pump him full of lead as he tries his darndest to get inside the hotel before he dies. Though never explicitly stated, apparently John doesn’t make it because he can only see his family once a year on Devil’s Night when serial killer ghosts can roam freely for 24 hours ( I guess it’s only the the non-serial killers that get to do it on Halloween, but wait what about the school shooter kid from season 1 who could only go out on Halloween? This show contradicts itself more than Doctor Who). “Be Our Guest” contained more wish fulfillment than I have ever seen crammed into one hour (or slightly more) of television. Seriously, I could go on. James March feels at peace and has no more desire for murder now that the ten commandment murders are finished, Donovan winds up in heaven apparently where he sniffs pancakes everyday. It was even hinted that the Countess is going to have a new lover at the very end. It’s pretty sad that there was so little conflict in the end that they had to bring in a character from an earlier season just to have a little bit of a confrontation. And then there are the questions never answered. Who or what was the Drill Dick demon? James March apparently controlled him but why? Aside from being a ghost does March have some dark magic or something? What was up with Sally sewing people up in mattresses? If John died on the steps of the hotel how come he can only be with his family one night a year? They can step outside and visit him whenever they want. But I digress. This season of American Horror Story wasn’t very good but there were very good things about it. Denis O’Hare’s performance as Liz Taylor was the best, most sympathetic depiction of a trans character I have ever seen. His acting in general was award worthy. Evan Peters was almost equally good as James March. The general visual tone of the show remains stellar. However… They really need to replace Lady Gaga, put in more horror and less drama. Jessica Lange and Emma Roberts were sorely missed this season but fingers crossed that maybe they come back next year. This has been my first regular gig reviewing a show from week to week. It was an interesting ride and I thank the readers that rode shotgun. Random Thoughts About Tonight’s Episode: “Doesn’t that just make you wanna take a dump?” “You’re my family, I want to be with you forever” “Have to make it back to the hotel!” “You have a jawline for days”
