Anyway, Kara is thrown in the brig and writhes around on the floor shouting ‘WE’RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!!!11’, while getting angry at Admiral ‘Atheist’ Adama. That is, until Lee comes in looking terrifyingly City boy (pinstripe suit, excessive Brylcreem). He not only says he believes her, but that he now understands what it is to have a destiny and all this sharing of spiritual quests results in some pretty heavy petting. Since season two, Lee and Kara have misinterpreted what the rest of the world requires as a greeting. No handshakes or awkward hugging for them, it’s all about the inappropriate PDAs.
Anyway, after that little love-in, Lee exits (I hope you’re all enjoyed the extensive alliteration of this review) and there’s a cheese-topped leaving back-pat-a-thon (obviously different to the cheese-topped back-pat-a-thon earlier where Lee drinks shots of what can only be described as Mountain Dew, or watered down Swarfega) as he gets aboard a Raptor to start his new life as a lawyer/politician with Tom Zarek and the Quorum of Twelve.
On to the Cylons, who are having a bit of a tiff. The raider who scanned Anders and recognised him as a Cylon has meant that they’ve all started thinking for themselves instead of following orders. But you can’t really revoke their flight status and throw them in the brig, so instead, Brother Cavill wants the reasoning bits of their brains hacked out. This is where they all wish they hadn’t boxed Xena, as now, when they vote, there’s a tie. Cavil, Kevin Spacey’s frown double and Dr Simon are for the lobotomies; Six, Eight and Leoben are most certainly not.
Finally, there’s a couple of neat twists. Firstly, Kara gets what she’s after, and is sent to find the way to earth in a poo processing ship with perpetually teeth-sucking Helo. More interesting, however, is Gaius. If Baltar’s not the final Cylon, he seems to know an awful lot about what Tori et al are going through, and not only cos they get it on. Caprica Six seems to have loaned him… um… him. Instead of being able to see Number Six as a projection of his subconscious, Gaius now sees himself in the same way, to which he brilliantly exclaims ‘oh my giddy aunt!’ I kept waiting for him to say to him ‘money can be exchanged for goods and services’. Sadly not.
Anyway, he also speaks of the music our final four all heard, describing it as ‘like the distant chaos of an orchestra turning up, then somebody waves a magic wand’ – it doesn’t get much more specific than that. Does Gaius know who the five are? What about the one that ‘will be revealed’? Rumour has it, our freshly discovered Cylons feature heavily in the next few episodes, so watch this space… they’ve got to give us the answers eventually.
