3.13 Ruh Roh We begin with Liam. Being the creeper that he is, he’s stalked Josh and Nora to their rustic cabin of werewolf sex in the middle of nowhere so that he can drag them back to the city and show them what happens when a vampire who has drunk werewolf blood sires offspring. They turn into those hideously deformed creatures like Kat’s professor or Kenny. For the sake of clarity, I’m going to call them werepires despite the fact that that term is a bit misleading. (How awesome would it be if they wolfed out at the full moon, though?) Liam’s then all, “I’m your maker now, Josh, I will nurture you!” and Nora’s like, “If anyone’s going to be nurturing Josh, it’s going to be me, and also, I killed Brynn.” Apparently Josh is no longer family once Liam finds out that Nora killed his daughter because he locks them in with the werepires and tells them to get to staking while he heads off to kill Kenny. (I’m not going to make the joke. It’s too obvious. But did I burst into giggles while I was watching the episode? Yes. Yes, I did.) But the best part of Aidan’s storyline is that we get flashbacks to the Department of Bad Wigs and Even Worse Accents, and somehow the accents are even worse this week than they usually are. I haven’t seen the UK version of this show but I can pretty much guarantee you sight unseen that they outshine the US version in accents, if nothing else. Oh, Americans. We try. You Brits are more than welcome to make fun of us for this; we deserve it. So now that Kenny’s awake, he’s hungrier than a normal vampire and this causes Aidan to flashback to Isaac letting it slip that he’s alive again to all the local townsfolk. Naturally, they decide that Aidan’s the devil and Suzanna’s a witch who must be drowned for her crimes. And honestly, did it not occur to them to just move to a new town where no one knew Aidan had died? I mean, honestly. Because apparently I love publicly humiliating myself, let me just share with you the fact that I fell off my bed when this happened. I’ve been watching a lot of zombie stuff lately, so my mind has become accustomed to “head shot = dead forever,” and somehow it hadn’t reset yet to adjust to dealing with vampires, who are of course a whole different mythology altogether. And so for a second there, I legitimately thought they’d just killed off Aidan, and my reaction to that was apparently to fall off the damn bed. Are you laughing? Enjoying my (considerable) pain? Good, because that’s the last laugh you’re getting from this episode, as things immediately take a turn for the horrifying. Liam keeps shooting Aidan over and over just to watch him suffer, and then he throws Aidan into the basement with Kenny. He manages to pin Kenny down and is about to stake him when somehow, Sally manages to set the thing on fire. Josh and Nora arrive to try to help, and Kenny starts feeding on Nora. Everything gets hectic but somehow, finally, Sally and Aidan together manage to kill Liam. Let me repeat, y’all: Liam is finally dead. Yes, we may finally be free of the purebred werewolves storyline. And this is why I love Nora so much, because there she is, recovering from nearly having her throat torn out, and her biggest concern is that she’s sorry Josh didn’t get to kill Liam, because now he’s stuck as a werewolf. I hadn’t even thought of that, to be honest (too busy rejoicing; no more purebred werewolves, you guys!) but that’s why Nora’s so great: she has this huge capacity for empathy that helped her stay with Josh through those first, awkward days when he couldn’t be honest with her, or to try to take in and nurture Erin when she clearly needed it most, or to try to befriend Sally before she could even see her. I hang out in the fandom; I know what gets said about Nora, especially after her storyline with Aidan this year. But this scene is a perfect example of why I love her so much, and A+ to Kristen Hager for being able to turn in performances that allow me to understand and forgive everything that happened with her this season. So anyway, Josh tries to talk to Aidan about Kenny, all, “Hey, so your son tried to kill my wife and that’s going to be a problem,” and Aidan decides to kill Kenny (I told you, the joke’s too obvious! Stop waiting for it!) after he fixes things with Kat. His options are: try to explain this to her or just make her forget it ever happened and, being a vampire, he decides to enlist the help of his pal Blake and have her compel Kat into forgetting. Not cool, Aidan. Not cool. That taken care of, Aidan marches Kenny out into the woods to kill him, and Kenny’s pretty much just resigned to the fact until Aidan has another flashback to killing half the town in revenge for them drowning Suzanna, at which point he yells at Kenny to run away from him. Kenny, smart boy that he is, runs. And as I said, I really do think Kat and Aidan are cute, but you know what else is cute? Aidan and Sally when he asks her if she wants to go to a movie and she says, “No thanks. But hey, have you noticed that it’s easier to have relationships if you’re both supernaturals?” and he goes, “You know, I had! Isn’t that funny?” Yes, yes it is. Very funny indeed. But when he leaves, Donna appears and tells Sally that they’re connected now, and then starts talking about destroying death spots like that’s a thing I’m supposed to know about. I don’t, but it’s hard not to learn quickly when she pushes Sally down the stars and suddenly a giant hole opens up to eat the two of them. What the actual hell. (Actually! Literally! Quite possibly!) When all is said and done, this is probably going to be my favourite season of the series; aside from one or two mis-steps, I was on the edge of my seat the entire run, and I genuinely don’t think there was a bad episode in the bunch. I have absolutely loved recapping this season for you, and I can’t wait to come back for season four. Read Kaci’s review of the previous episode, Always a Bridesmaid, Never Alive, here.
