Does Deadpool 2 have a post credits scene? Do bears crap in the woods? I only ask rhetorical questions like that to satisfy certain SEO requirements. Of course there’s a Deadpool 2 after credits scene! Several of them, as a matter of fact. And while they’re all pretty self-explanatory, I am here to explain them to you anyway. So come with me, dear reader, as we explore the not-so-mysterious mysteries of the Deadpool 2 post-credits scenes. We may even learn something about ourselves along the way…
Vanessa is alive!
OK, so the most obvious part of the Deadpool 2 post- redits scenes doesn’t even need any explaining at all. Deadpool snags Cable’s time travel device so he can go back in time about six weeks to save Vanessa’s life.
Peter is also alive!
What might be the most welcome moment in this entire series of bonkers events is that Wade goes and prevents dear, sweet, beautiful Peter from coming to Zeitgeist’s rescue. Why? Because when Zeitgeist was getting sucked into the woodchipper, he yakked acid all over Peter, killing him dead. Now? He convinces him to walk away. Screw X-Force, right? I expect a Further Adventures of Peter movie starring Rob Delaney on the X-Men movie schedule to be annouced no later than next week.
Is…is Shatterstar alive, too?
OK, fine, there’s nothing on screen to indicate that Wade saved any other members of X-Force while he was there helping out Peter. But can we please just pour one out for Shatterstar? In my own personal X-timeline right now, Deadpool also saved Shatterstar. It’s something of a crime that we didn’t get to see Lewis Tan properly kicking ass more in this movie. Plus, Shatterstar is a founding member of X-Force for cryin’ out loud. How can you make an X-Force movie without Shatterstar in all his hollow-boned, self-grandfathering, dimension-hopping weirdness? This is BULLSHIT! OK, not really. Shatterstar is dead. I just had to get this in here. We have more info on Shatterstar right here if you want it.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine…counts even less now.
Ah, nothing like being reminded of the Baraka-ass looking fake Deadpool that we got in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, a movie so universally reviled that it was retconned right the hell out of continuity on screen in X-Men: Days of Future Past, and which “real” Deadpool has happily crapped on at every possible opportunity. Here, Wade goes back to that moment in X-Men Origins: Wolverine where Logan first faces down the Deadpool-of-which-we-shall-never-speak-again. And he shoots him. Thus rendering that movie’s climax irrelevant. But again, since that entire movie was already written out of continuity by the events of Days of Future Past, it’s best to think of this, not in terms of actual movie continuity, but more in the spirit of the general meta-ness of Deadpool himself.
Green Lantern…ummm…leads to the death of an innocent actor.
Does…does this one really need any explanation? Yes? OK, fine. Wade Wilson executes Ryan Reynolds circa 2009. You see, just as it is in our world, in the X-Men world, Ryan Reynolds is a real person…but then again, so is Deadpool. Which makes X-Men universe Ryan Reynolds dead af before he could play Hal Jordan in the ill-fated 2011 Green Lantern movie. And what do you think, boys and girls? Tell us all about the weird feelings that the Deadpool 2 post credits scenes stirred in your hearts and other places in the comments.
