Welcome back to Downton, a place where, like a D&D ‘Jazz-Age Toffs’ Expansion Pack, every character comes with their own alignment card: Good, Evil, or Gormless. This week saw kindly acts from the Good (Anna, Bates, Isobel, Mrs Hughes and Carson), dastardly plotting from the Evil (Edna and Thomas), and gullibility from the Gormless (Mr Molesley the Younger and Lady Cora, who really should have seen through Barrow by now, even if he did help her to oust wicked Nanny West last week). Not that there wasn’t dramatic incident this week – Mr Molesley got tar on his ear for a start – but on the whole, these past two episodes have seen Downton Abbey pull the shutters on the shock store and return to the cosy blanket business. To wit, the kitchen was abuzz when former under house maid Gwen (Rose Leslie, now numbering amongst Game of Thrones’ wildlings) sent them all a mail from Beyond the Wall. Not to be outdone, Cousin Matthew borrowed an idea from his dead fiancée last series by sending one from beyond the grave, and handily resolving a plot point into the bargain. “My darling Mary, we are off to Duneagle in the morning and I have suddenly realised that I have never made a will or anything like one, which seems pretty feeble for a lawyer, and you being pregnant makes it even more irresponsible. I’ll do it properly when I get back and tear this up before you ever see it, but I’ll feel easier that I’ve recorded on paper that I wish you to be my sole heiress. I cannot know if our baby is a boy or a girl but I do know it will be a baby if anything happens to me before I have drawn up a will, and so you must take charge. And now I shall sign this and get off home for dinner with you, what a lovely, lovely thought. Matthew.” “I have suddenly realised…?” For that, creator Julian Fellowes deserves to have his tuck privileges taken away at the House of Lords for a full week. Part of the fun of Downton Abbey has always been its role as a safari park for observing the habits of old-fashioned rich-os, with all the ‘she doesn’t know what a weekend is!’, ‘he can’t boil a kettle!’ hilarity that entails (what is Lady Violet if not a class-inverted Jade Goody?). Showcased this week at the aristocracy zoo was the cold and business-like nature of Lord Grantham’s dealings with daughter Mary. When she drew him a picture as a child, he probably sent it off to Murray for appraisal before committing himself to a cheery pat on the head. It wasn’t all snapshots of an endangered species though, some parts of the episode had contemporary relevancy, not least the sparseness of decent employment in the village as illustrated by Mr Molesley tamping down bitumen and Mr Grigg decamping to Belfast for a stagehand position. In another modern reflection, Fellowes took the opportunity to plant a swipe at how dreadfully unfair inheritance tax is on the rich with a short hillside skit entitled ‘Poor millionaire widows vs. Mrs Tiggywinkle’ performed by Mary and Branson, the latter of whom had come dressed as Toad of Toad Hall. His politics may be on the right, but Fellowes evidently isn’t averse to sharing the Green Party’s enthusiasm for recycling. Not only was the ‘message from a corpse’ resolution (hereafter referred to as the Lavinia Swire get-out clause) used twice this week – once from Cousin Matthew, and once from Carson’s Alice, played in that photograph by Craig Roberts from Submarine – but an entire series one encounter was found to have enough life in it to be repurposed in series four. Remember when Lady Sybil snuck out to the Ripon by-election count, got involved in a brawl and was rescued by a passing Downton resident? You don’t have to, because it all happened again this week under the guise of Lady Rose’s Thé Dansant storyline. Previous eco-friendly acts from Fellowes have included Mr Bates being framed, thrice, and the old faithful ‘how will we save Downton?’ conundrum (loads of ways as it turns out; the Abbey’s basically Kim Bauer from 24, just with slightly more range). More recycling came in this episode as Thomas (Evil) continued his campaign against the Bateses (Good). He’s to watch his back though. As John reminds Anna this week, “prison was an education” for him. An education in which he learnt to ask Maggie Smith for stuff, presumably. In other news, the under-stairs love quadrangle continued (Daisy loves Alfred, but Alfred loves Ivy, but Ivy loves Jimmy, and Jimmy only loves himself). “I hope he doesn’t break her heart” said the cook, of Ivy and Jimmy. Woman to woman Mrs Patmore, it’s her hymen you want to be worrying about. Godspeed you Mr Grigg. With you go my hopes of seeing Carson jazz-hands his way through Daddy Wouldn’t Buy Me a Bow Wow, a sad farewell indeed. Read Louisa’s review of the previous episode, here.
