On the other hand, Masters of the Universe demonstrates exactly how not to do it. The 1987 flick gets thrown in the Dungeon thanks to its many, many crimes against cinema. However, while the fans were undoubtedly presented with the right man for the job, they were certainly not given the right story. For the biggest problem with Masters of the Universe, and the reason it’s shackled up and being whipped by eager guards right now, is that the film adaptation criminally discards almost everything you know about He-Man’s universe in a way that makes The Phantom Menace’s midi-chlorian fiasco look tame in comparison. For starters, in the original cartoon series, He-Man had his rather annoying, yet far more sensibly dressed, alter ego Prince Adam. During the entire film, not once do we see Dolph out of his ludicrous S&M-inspired costume as not once do we see his other identity. Not even, which would have been far less conspicuous, when he ends up on Earth. Then there’s He-Man’s mighty weapon. In the cartoon series, He-Man fought with, and drew all of his super strength from, a huge sword. Inexplicably in the adaptation, he does much of his killing with guns and there are no examples of his super strength on display, just some strong dude from outer space kicking the crap out of other strong dudes from outer space. Old favourites from the show are forgotten about, as characters such as Orko and Mer-Man are neither present, nor referred to at any time during the film. The result is a bog standard science fiction flick that has little in common with the TV series, or the Mattel toys. Case in point are Skeletor’s band of robotic guards with whom he rules Eternia. Introduced for this film adaptation, it’s with their help that old pasty face has managed to conquer Eternia. Since when did Skeletor need robot hoards to demonstrate his power? In the end, the film adaptation is an abject failure because it comes across as more of a bizarre, low budget version of a Star Wars-inspired Sci-Fi flick rather than a big screen version of an extremely popular, and well established children’s TV show. Apparently a new adaptation is planned for 2009. Fingers crossed it’s better than this first effort, or at the very least is set in the universe we all know and love. DVD Dungeon: Schumacher’s Batman films…