The first four films (let’s call them the Guttenberg era) were by no means cinematic masterpieces but at least there were a few laughs to be had along the way and Steve Guttenberg was largely responsible for that. Sure he didn’t have the out and out jokes that Michael Winslow, David Graf and George Gaynes had, but his charm and on-screen charisma lent those early films a personality that people could connect with. Like Bill Murray in Stripes, Guttenberg’s likeable rogue with a quip for every occasion and an eye for the ladies was never less than endearing and his relationships with the other characters (notably Bubba Smith’s Hightower) kept those earlier films, in particular the first two efforts, moving along at a pace. Bringing in Matt McCoy as Mahoney’s replacement was their trump card, and boy did it stink. McCoy had the smirks and the gurning down to a tee but crucially he lacked any charm or star power whatsoever. What that meant was that those latter films had no character that audiences could really connect with, no lead character to drive the films forward. Sure, they still had old favourites such as Tackleberry’s guns and Callahan’s breasts to keep them company but there are only so many jokes you can wrench out of these essentially one-dimensional characters, leaving it up to a Mahoney to keep audiences interested. And as Nick Lassard, McCoy just wasn’t up to the job. It got worse with number six in the series, 1989’s City Under Siege when even the actors themselves were starting to look bored. Perhaps that’s why in the seventh, and so far final, instalment of the series, Mission to Moscow, two of the original cast members, Bubba Smith and Marion Ramsey, weren’t included. However, one other notable actor was added to the bill – Hellboy’s Ron Perlman, as the head of the Russian mafia. That said, original cast members Winslow, Graf, Gaynes, Easterbrook and George W Bailey (as Captain Harris) did return to phone in their performances one last time. McCoy did not return. There have been a few rumblings in recent years of a comeback for an eighth film so here’s a plea, from me personally, to the people who make these decisions. Please, for the love of all things holy, leave the franchise alone. Kicking a dead dog is of no use to anyone and I beg of you, let this mangy mutt rest in peace. You’ve done enough damage already.
