‘Too many dudesWith too many dicksToo close to my shitToo hard to meet chicksI need better oddsMore broads, less rodsI came to do battleScadaddle with the cattle prods’ Following the song we find Jemaine waking up in the bed of a girl, but not just any girl – an Australian. Seemingly he was able to pull despite there being too many dicks on the dance floor. Naturally, he tries to escape unnoticed but can’t get out of the door. Panicked he phones Bret for advice and is about to jump out of the window when he’s caught by the woman, who introduces herself as “Kietha”. She asks Jemaine, or ‘Big-J’, to stay but he makes his excuses and heads to a clinic, with Bret, for a check-up. Bret asks what the red stuff around Jemaine’s mouth is, Jemaine states that it’s lipstick but Bret’s convinced that it’s crabs. Later at the band meeting Murray is outraged to find out what Jemaine has done, and warns him about Australian women enticing sailors and causing their ships to sink. It’s pointed out that Murray is possibly getting Australian women confused with mermaids. Murray and Bret discuss the possibility of expelling Jemaine from the band. Despite his indiscretion, they allow him to stay and ask him if he still has his wallet, to which Jemaine replies yes. Jemaine and Kietha start dating which is something that Bret and Murray don’t approve of. Not having the highest opinion of Kietha due to her nationality, things aren’t exactly improved when she turns out to be quite crass when Jemaine brings her to meet them at a cafe, announcing that she was “going to the dunny to murder a brown snake”. Kietha’s friends also aren’t the biggest fans of Jemaine. When he goes to visit Kietha they tell him that she’s left the country despite her being visible to Jemaine. When Jemaine questions her about this later she says that it’s because he’s a dick and that she’s rutted better-looking guys when blind drunk. After this conversation Jemaine sings Carol Brown, a song that lists his ex-girlfriends and the reasons why they left him. It also sees Bret and Jemaine playing rather fantastic-looking guitars. When he returns home he finds the apartment empty and Bret taped to the back of the door. It turns out that Kietha and her friends robbed them whilst Jemaine was out. Jemaine hands Bret his sandwich and gives him a hug, which Bret points out he isn’t participating in. Mixed feelings about the episode, it had some really funny moments and two fairly strong songs. But despite this it seemed a little flat overall. Nowhere near as bad as the first or fourth episodes, but not as strong as two and three. Let’s hope that they can get out of the slump next week… Check out our review of episode 4 here.
