“How are you?” For someone with mental health problems, perhaps ones that took a while to be recognised or diagnosed, I’ve found that this is all too common. As much as the media has done lately to help break through some of the most common misconceptions around a lot of mental health issues, taboos still exist and humans remain uniquely talented at judging others they don’t quite understand. As such, the concept of sharing your personal struggles and worries with colleagues, friends or even family can be a terrifying one, with fears around rejection, ridicule or negative impact on your career often keeping people from seeking support when they need it the most. That’s where it becomes not just important, but often essential, to become more of an oversharer. That word has negative connotations, of course, conjuring up an image of that annoying flat mate who talked about her sex life over dinner, but it can also be a vital tool in the arsenal of someone going through bad times. As with anything, once you say a thing out loud, it often loses some of its power over you. No matter what your situation, family – self-made or biological – are an essential part of living a fulfilled life, and recognising that there are people in your little universe who’d love an honest answer to the above question is a big step towards making things a bit easier. What works for one person won’t work for everyone. For example, I recently moved into a new flatshare and made sure those I’d be living with had a basic understanding of some of the less palatable symptoms of my anxiety and depression. At the same time, a lot of people I work with have no idea. This is a deeply personal thing, and it’s important not to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But a lot of the time, breaking through that initial barrier is the hardest part, yet something easily overcome. Personally, because I’ve trusted a few people with how things are in the bad times, I’m also able to tell them about when I’m feeling better. They’re able to understand when I cancel last minute on a commitment, or when I need to be alone. Conversely, they can recognise when I need to get out of the house or eat a good meal, even if I don’t want to. I understand that not everyone is as lucky as me, but it’s also true that I could be in a very different situation had I not chosen to confide in certain people at the right time. Next time a trusted loved one asks how you are, consider telling them the truth. Thanks, as always, for reading.
