In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale came out in 2007 and, I have to admit, I didn’t hate it. It’s a fantasy epic with a ridiculous sense of humour; it stars Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Matthew Lillard, and Ray Liotta, which has to be the least likely cast for a faux medieval fantasy movie ever, and it’s a lot of fun. In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds, though, was made on a fraction of the first movie’s budget, and features hardly any recognisable faces at all. And while it has its moments, it isn’t anywhere near as much fun as the first movie. It turns out that the girl is a sorceress from the fantasy Kingdom of Ehb. She’s travelled through time to nab Granger, an ex-Special Forces soldier turned karate teacher who, according to prophecy, is destined to be the saviour of Ehb. (Granger is played by Dolph Lundgren, probably the only recognisable face in the entire cast.) She zaps them both through a time vortex and immediately gets killed on the other side. It’s okay, though, because her role as sexy medieval guide lady is quickly filled by the improbably named ‘Manhatten’, a kind of court doctor. We’re quickly introduced to a whole succession of weird characters, from a greasy-looking king to a seer who lives in a tree, and everyone says the same thing: the prophecy says Granger has to save the day. Since he’s stranded in a world without antibiotics, Granger goes along with it. Cue lots of walking through forests and awkwardly choreographed sword fights. Everyone double-crosses everyone until it’s almost impossible to know why anyone is doing anything, since none of it seems to have much of a point. The dialogue is awkward, and everyone mumbles. About halfway through the film, Granger switches sides when it turns out that the king is actually the baddie, but since he was clearly unpleasant from the start that’s no real shock. It’s difficult to know who the audience for this film might be. It’s not based on a computer game, it’s a sequel to a film not that many people liked (or even saw), and apart from the opening and closing scenes, it’s not very good. Boll’s best films are angry, or funny, and this isn’t really either. It’s just kind of… there. Disc Follow Den Of Geek on Twitter right here. And be our Facebook chum here.
