This week Jack tucks his tail and (drinks and) drives back home to his wife. Or, as he is starting to realize, to the person who only appears to be his wife. When he gets to the house, Amy is pissed off and accusatory. She lashes out at Jack for potentially ruining her relationship with her boss by revealing that she was out shopping her resume around at competing firms. Supposedly. After dressing him down, she reminds Jack that drinking and fighting are incredibly douche-y. Okay, as weirdly banal as the scene is, what comes across loud and clear is that Amy is complicit. In fact, she lets Jack in on the whole we-don’t-die secret. Like most normal people, he thinks she has turned into a wackadoodle (albeit one with awesome cleavage). They fight some more, start to have angry domestic sex, and then Amy switches personalities again, and walks away mid-hump. Poor Jack, cock blocked at every turn. As Jack lay on the floor, man crying and nursing his blue balls, he remembers better times. Like when he killed three dudes and Amy hugged him for it. No explanation is given, but we do know he used to be a cop in LA, and also he and Amy lost a baby. Did the three dudes kill their baby? I don’t know. At any rate, Jack is a hot mess. To cap off a banner evening, Gary calls and invites Jack to meet him Seattle. He has evidence about Amy, and shit ain’t good. Question: if you have been alive for millennia, wouldn’t you already have a shitload of money? Seriously. If I was immortal, I would have set up some kind of ongoing blind trust fund, buried pirate gold, or at least learned how to steal. Honestly, a fat sack of cash should have limited appeal to someone who was around when Rome was the dominant empire. At any rate, Richard takes the deal. Farther up on the highway, Marcus is in the car bonding with the nice lady he paid to drive him to Seattle. Only now that the lady has what appears to be a strange nine year old girl in her car, she regrets her decision to help. Jesus people. How many episodes of To Catch A Predator do you need to watch before you know to leave the kiddies alone? Anywho, it turns out Marcus is something of a music expert. He was playing back when Mozart was still around. On a related note: anyone who gets murdered by a nine year old should have their corpse slapped. Indeed, Richard finds the nice lady beaten to death in a rest stop bathroom, and delivers a verbal bitch slap before torching her body, chucking her teeth down the road, and tossing her severed head in the river. I am really starting to enjoy him. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter for all news updates related to the world of geek. And Google+, if that’s your thing!
