“Sound like a fucking riot” says humourless Captain Harris “A real recipe for disaster. Should be great for the casual observer. I mean, it will prove massively inconvenient for me, who will have to handle the day-to-day running of the academy and who will be held accountable for the quality of the recruits. But otherwise, sure, it sounds like an absolute hoot” “What’s Directive 4, Murphy?” “Classified” answers Murphy, who is half-robot, half-cop (a Robocop, if you will) “Beep, blup, bloop. Kerhernerna” squeaks the sound effects guy back. He sounds a bit like a coke machine or something and makes Arnold Schwarzenegger and his little bald mate crack up laughing. They both get sent out undercover to look after kids as a punishment. Arnie ends up as a kindergarten teacher, and also a cop (a kindergarten cop, if you will). His little bald friend gets sent to look after some rich kids but it just seems like a passive rip-off of Arnie’s punishment (making him a Pacifier, if you will). “Blip, blap, blop” says the sound effects guy. “Homie please” says Murphy as Robocop “That’s noncejuice. You ain’t got no chance with that Hotty McDotty” “What?” says Sly. “I said you have no chance with her” repeats Murphy as Robocop. “You’ll have to speak up” says Sly “I’m deaf in one ear” “Never mind” says Murphy as Robocop. “Dressing up as old people is what I do now that I’m not funny anymore” says Axel. “How come none of you noticed I wasn’t here?” asks Martin Lawrence in his full Big Momma get-up. “Flib bipple dib-dab” says the sound effects guy. Only Hulk Hogan is left laughing at this point and so he has to be a Nanny cop to some spoiled rich kids as well (a Mr.Nanny, if you will). Then a terrorist situation breaks out at a local office block. Cadet John McClane goes in on a dare, much to the annoyance of Captain Harris. He wipes out the bad guys with the assistance of an elderly black man who turns out to be Axel Foley is disguise. He also gets a bit of help from Murphy as Robocop and Slyvester Stallone, who are just sort of there. “Shut up” says Murphy as Robocop “You’re not funny. You’re a dick. I’d kill you if I could, but I found out why directive 4 was classified. I’d never have signed up for this bullpoop if I’d know there was a directive that specifically said I can’t kill Eddie Murphy” “”I can’t hear none of you guys” says Sly, who quits to go and live in the jungle near Burma so he can get some peace and quiet, finally. “Yipee Kai Yay, motherfucker” says John McClane “Doob, skwanyerfel, kwrerrrk” says the sound effects guy. This time we all laugh, even Captain Harris.
title: “Matt S Confused Reviews Police Academy” ShowToc: true date: “2025-08-08” author: “Mark Peak”
“Sound like a fucking riot” says humourless Captain Harris “A real recipe for disaster. Should be great for the casual observer. I mean, it will prove massively inconvenient for me, who will have to handle the day-to-day running of the academy and who will be held accountable for the quality of the recruits. But otherwise, sure, it sounds like an absolute hoot” “What’s Directive 4, Murphy?” “Classified” answers Murphy, who is half-robot, half-cop (a Robocop, if you will) “Beep, blup, bloop. Kerhernerna” squeaks the sound effects guy back. He sounds a bit like a coke machine or something and makes Arnold Schwarzenegger and his little bald mate crack up laughing. They both get sent out undercover to look after kids as a punishment. Arnie ends up as a kindergarten teacher, and also a cop (a kindergarten cop, if you will). His little bald friend gets sent to look after some rich kids but it just seems like a passive rip-off of Arnie’s punishment (making him a Pacifier, if you will). “Blip, blap, blop” says the sound effects guy. “Homie please” says Murphy as Robocop “That’s noncejuice. You ain’t got no chance with that Hotty McDotty” “What?” says Sly. “I said you have no chance with her” repeats Murphy as Robocop. “You’ll have to speak up” says Sly “I’m deaf in one ear” “Never mind” says Murphy as Robocop. “Dressing up as old people is what I do now that I’m not funny anymore” says Axel. “How come none of you noticed I wasn’t here?” asks Martin Lawrence in his full Big Momma get-up. “Flib bipple dib-dab” says the sound effects guy. Only Hulk Hogan is left laughing at this point and so he has to be a Nanny cop to some spoiled rich kids as well (a Mr.Nanny, if you will). Then a terrorist situation breaks out at a local office block. Cadet John McClane goes in on a dare, much to the annoyance of Captain Harris. He wipes out the bad guys with the assistance of an elderly black man who turns out to be Axel Foley is disguise. He also gets a bit of help from Murphy as Robocop and Slyvester Stallone, who are just sort of there. “Shut up” says Murphy as Robocop “You’re not funny. You’re a dick. I’d kill you if I could, but I found out why directive 4 was classified. I’d never have signed up for this bullpoop if I’d know there was a directive that specifically said I can’t kill Eddie Murphy” “”I can’t hear none of you guys” says Sly, who quits to go and live in the jungle near Burma so he can get some peace and quiet, finally. “Yipee Kai Yay, motherfucker” says John McClane “Doob, skwanyerfel, kwrerrrk” says the sound effects guy. This time we all laugh, even Captain Harris.
