It’s been nearly 700 days since you first tweeted you were starting a challenge entitled The Triangle, where you bet people you could write three screenplays in the time it took them to do one [with the offer that Clarke’s company would read any scripts completed before he finished his]…. That’s what I thought. Because Fast Girls doesn’t seem to be one of those three films? No. This was Damian Jones’ idea. He was one of the producers of Kidulthood and Adulthood. This was his idea and always his idea. And so, I don’t remember if I wrote this before or after. I don’t tend to talk about stuff that I’m doing until it’s done. Yet you’ve been teasing 5.4.3.2.1 this week? And so I don’t remember where Fast Girls fell. I just know that Damian wanted to do it, and so I got together with Jay Basu who I know well, and we knocked it out and did it. You had a very tight window of opportunity with Fast Girls. For making it, yeah, but we wrote it a long time ago. See, that’s interesting. I’ve read one or two people call the placement of the film a bit opportunistic… Here’s the thing. It might be opportunistic that it comes out at this time, but it has to come out at this time. Why would you not put it out at this time, as a studio? But in terms of us as the creators, definitely not. Damian’s been talking to me about doing this film since we did Kidulthood. So, what, 2005? Damian Jones has been saying we should do a film called Fast Girls. I’ve always been a bit too busy, or not too sure. And only after 4.3.2.1 when the Olympics was announced, he said we should do it. I said yeah, and we wrote it, but it’s been sitting around for a while. No, I didn’t worry about that! When I wrote it, it was Olympics, I didn’t give a flying fuck about this stuff! It was Olympics, five rings, this that there. It’s only when it started getting made that they checked all that stuff and were told you can’t use this, you can’t use that. I think Roy Williams, who was on a draft, he pulled all that stuff out at the time. But we just wrote the film we wanted to see. I love the irony. The massive conglomerates landing on London, and a small British film… Presumably then if you go back to the schedule, this must have been shot in the winter. Because it looks bloody cold. Yeah, it was shot in November and December. I finished on the 18th of December, I think. No, I wasn’t necessarily going to play that role. I didn’t have any set role. You were never going to play one of the Fast Girls, though… The chronology of it, then, was that this was the last of the three films you’ve got coming out in the next four months that you shot? Yes. Yeah. This was the last one made, but the first one out. The Knot was the first made, the last out, and Storage was done in the middle. It’s crazy, it’s just the way it goes man. So where’s your MMA film? So that went out the window. I e-mailed the cast, and said here’s the deal, got to do this, that film’s on the back burner. But it’s still on the burner? Is it one you want to direct still? I’m not sure now. I might not do it. My mind flits around a little, and I might not direct it now. But it’s still bubbling. You watch in awe. At the genius of the man. He really is a genius guy. I’ve never worked on a film that size before, and I’ve never worked with a director like that. He’s on a different level, and you look at him and say that’s what I have to aspire to be. If not that size, then at least take on the way he does it. He’s a very clever guy, and it was an amazing experience. Hopefully they don’t cut me out the film! That’s where your aspirations seem to have been going? The films that you do have been getting more and more ambitious? And you’ve been lobbying for Black Panther, too? Well, a lot of the fans seem to be lobbying for me! There was a vote yesterday with loads of names on it, and I was winning that! [Laughs] I looked at it, and I was leading the vote. I thought wow! I think that’s a knock on effect from Star Trek, though. I feel like with Fast Girls, and Storage 24 and that, some people are thinking that maybe he can do that stuff. Have you a call about it yet? Are you the kind of person who’ll put the call in yourself? You can’t, no. It’s one of those things where you get the jobs you get. And some you don’t get. When people said you got Star Trek, it’s so amazing… if I told you the amount of jobs I went for and haven’t got over the years. The list would be too long. Some you get, some you don’t. That was Internet rumour. I actually booked a film in Australia, which was a wedding romcom, and then I couldn’t get on the film, as the Australian immigration committee only wanted three British actors. So when they had to lose one, I was the one that got lost. So I mentioned Australia – and I was booked, and ready to go – as I was going to spend a bunch of time there. And then I didn’t get through on the immigration commission! But that’s life. So we made our own wedding romcom [The Knot]. Was that the catalyst for the project? You said you had a romcom written around the time of Kidulthood, if memory serves… Yeah. That’s The Knot. Obviously we’ve updated it – there were no iPads in those days! It’s not up to me. It’s Damian Jones’ baby. Whatever he decides. If he says to me it’s done well, let’s do another one… But it’s relevant now, you know? And I don’t know when 2 would be relevant. This being a success shouldn’t necessarily mean we do another one. If we did it in a random year, it wouldn’t be relevant. People are caught up in the Olympic fever. You put a Tweet out about 5.4.3.2.1 the other day. There are people who create series of characters now, who don’t necessarily fold them into sequels, they just move them into other stories, Marvel being the obvious example. Is there a temptation for you there, as a writer? Noel Clarke, thank you very much! Fast Girls is out today in UK cinemas.
