At the start of the episode, I must admit, I couldn’t tell you who was going to win the series. I could tell you who isn’t, as, if Baron von Sugar employs Stuart, then not only would it debase the idea of the TV programme somewhat (based on what we’ve seen), but it might just bugger up his businesses, too. But three candidates were set to go. So then, out came the interviewers. Claude Littner was up first, once more coming across like the kind of person no human being would want to work for. Alan Watts, the lawyer was next. Bordan Tkachuk of Viglen third. Then Margaret Mountford. And heck, from the off she was good. I wasn’t needing as much of the wine this week, friends. I just needed a full hour of The Mountford. Take Jamie’s third nipple joke. She tore it to bits, and comedy gold ensues. She didn’t even blink. Stella vs grumpy Claude, next. I bet Claude is a right hoot at his company’s Christmas party, isn’t he? Stella, I thought, held her own here, to be fair. Meanwhile, I helped myself to a Muller Front Corner. Strawberry flavour. Jo vs Bordan? Jo couldn’t pronounce the word Viglen, Bordan then quizzed her as to what companies Baron von Sugar had. Many have wondered the same thing. Jo, basically, flunked this one, and the camera took great glee in lingering on her suffering. More than anyone else in the episode. She was doomed, wasn’t she? Sadly, we were back to misery guts Claude next. He was biting chunks out of Chris, next, specialising in hunting down negatives in a pool that may be swimming in lots of positives. “You’re not so gifted,” ranted Claude. Have a fucking drink, man, I thought. So I did. Lovely. I thought Chris came out of this one quite well, to be fair, as he did throughout the episode. Fortunately, back to The Mountford, who was going for Jamie’s parents next. Not for long, though, so we cut to Jamie vs Bordan. Bordan took a more analytical approach, but he must have known in this episode he was onto a loser. We weren’t there to see him. Jamie did quite well, but, as I sank down another gulp of quite the worst bottle of wine I’ve had all series, Margaret reappeared. With Stuart. Win. Stuart, she found out, is looking to be the Baron’s business partner, giving “110% no doubt”. But it was over too quickly, as instead Stuart moved on to Claude. “Don’t tell me what a brand means,” ranted the Claude. “You’re not a big fish. You’re not even a fish,” he banged on. He almost achieved the aim of making me feel sorry for Stuart. Crikey. Jo vs Claude? I felt that Jo was dropping out of the episode here even more, which is a shame. Claude patronising her didn’t help. I swear when he opens his Christmas presents, he berates the people who handed them over, one at a time. Maybe the treat in next year’s series could be taking Claude to a happy hut somewhere? That’s one I’d actually watch. So then. Stella vs the lawyer who clearly wasn’t saying much of massive interest, as they’d barely edited him into the episode by this point. Stella was looking more and more a shoo-in for the final. Chris, too, was coming across well. Were they to be the finalists? And then, halfway through the episode, the interviews were done. Once again, while they were far better than usual, I did wonder if we’d been a little shortchanged once more. I could have had ten more minutes of that, and cut down the boardroom wrangling that was to follow. “I don’t think there is anyone out there like me,” said Stuart, before we got the boardroom. I’ll certainly drink to that. Chris, meanwhile, split the panel. Bordan found him dull. Alan quite liked him. Karren Brady really liked him. Margaret pulled a face. And chucked out another great one-liner about his educational record. Jamie didn’t impress her much, either. She’s an exquisite bullshit caller, and does it with a comedy edge that the Baron can only dream of matching. At the very least, get her on the payroll to write the script next year. Finally, Stuart. “Mr Baggs greeted me like a long lost friend,” said Margaret, “which, of course, he isn’t”. Claude, meanwhile, liked him. Karren Brady liked him. Bordan, however, then threw in the bullshit grenade, and patronised Karren Brady a little along the way. Alan The Lawyer wasn’t keen. Most human beings watching the show were surely fearing that he might even make it to the final by this point. Surely not? Surely, surely, not? And so the firings began. Baron von Sugar went through them one at a time to go over what they’d all banged on about for the 45 minutes we’d just sat through. But he finally went for Stuart, with a “you’re full of shit” rant. At last, for the first time, this was the Baron appearing to go off script. He was in a right rage, too. Stuart was off. At bloody last. It was a bit odd, though: the rage just came out of nowhere in the end. Was there more to the story? No doubt a tabloid will fill in the missing gaps. It wasn’t a bad episode in all, either. It was dominated by Margaret, clearly, but it did get it down to two less-showy candidates, who probably deserved to get to the final. And we’ll be back for that when it screens this coming Sunday. Hopefully, Margaret will be too. I’ll certainly drink to that. Follow Den Of Geek on Twitter right here.
