ANYWAY (thank you, Chuck Klosterman, for this wonderful literary device), the Ninja Turtles soundtrack. It’s basically just a 1990 pop rap sampler, with the exception of the semi-dark “Turtle Power” by Partners in Kryme. That song was also the album’s “hit,” which is strange because it contains a lyrical fuck-up so insane I can’t believe Turtle fans didn’t rise up in protest and burn down the studio where it was recorded. I refer, of course, to the line “Raphael, he’s the leader of the group.” Thanks to this confusion of the TMNT hierarchy, “Turtle Power” is forever marred, nearly impossible for any true Turtle fan to enjoy. Partners in Kryme quickly disappeared after their TMNT-related success; they remain MIA to this day. Assuming they spend at least a small portion of their days Googling their own name, let me address the members of PIK personally: guys, what’s up? Were you too high when you recorded “Turtle Power” to hear your own goof? Did you just not care? I bet the check you got from New Line was pretty fat. Until you explain yourselves, apologize for hurting the Ninja Turtle legacy, and rerecord the track fixing the error and adding an extra verse covering Super Shredder, Krang, and Baxter Stockman, you’re dead to me.
