The cards clogging up your postbox are just another thing that gets the Christmas spirit going. It’s palpably omnipresent now and there is no escape as shops blast out Christmas pop hits, the TV schedules cram in as many tinsel-flecked flicks as possible and fake Santas hold court across the department stores of the country. Even the most hung-up misanthrope gets hazy and can’t help but be overwhelmed by this Christmas atmosphere. Seeing as resistance is futile, you’re best off joining the majority of the merry-making populace, cracking a carefree smile and sitting down to some mulled wine and the stack of Christmas cards that need composing… The greetings card industry is now such a behemoth in the postmodern world that this is possible no matter what your hobby, character or cult devotion is. For me as a fan of hard rock music, I’m most interested in the Christmas quests of connoisseurs of the heavy metal genre. Are there any cards that can satisfy the bloodlust and brutality demanded of the typical metalhead? Looking to other methods of wishing a cool Yule to compatriots, mistletoe is too mainstream, cosy and corny for the committed metalhead and – going off stereotypes and the past form of some heavy metal personalities – most people wouldn’t be pleased if you brought a live bat or chicken to the Christmas buffet as a gift for them to chomp on (though really, the difference between that and the traditional turkey is limited). To lovingly say “metal up your ass!” to family and friends then, it comes down to the ever-reliable Christmas card and thanks to the prime titans of the musical genre, headbangers have that option. Unsurprisingly it’s Iron Maiden leading the way with their annual Christmas card competition. Every year, fans are invited to craft their own Maiden-esque photoshop mock-up or art masterpiece to enter into the battle to be the official band card. Though it’s a shame that the band’s website didn’t appear to collect the best entries in an online Advent calendar for the whole month this time round, a new selection is now on show each day and Luis Coronado has been crowned as the winner. It’s all very creative and exciting and I personally can’t wait to see just how Coronado has interpreted beastly band mascot Eddie for his honourary Christmas appearance. Thrash legends Megadeth have followed suit this year with their own mascot Vic Rattlehead serving as the sinister alternative to Santa as a Christmas figurehead (kids wouldn’t stay up and keep watch if they knew a bolt-eyed monstrous freak was coming down the chimney to deliver their presents). Fans drew up their fresh designs for a new Rattlehead and in the end it was Rick Orlando of Washington State who claimed top prize, getting his vision released as the band’s official printout for fanclub members plus a Christmas day phone call from bandleader Dave Mustaine and a guitar lesson from shredder Chris Broderick. The idea may not be original, but it doesn’t matter. To counter the surfeit of rosy robins and clichéd Father Christmas designs that clutter the shops and to allow alternative culture options, we need more cards that display alternative imagery. Megadeth’s adoption is thus a case of “the more the merrier”. I’m sure that the mighty Maiden don’t mind others taking up their Christmas concept seeing as they are such down-to-Earth blokes and I’d encourage more to follow considering that there are a great many rock bands who have formulated an identifiable image (for more mascots see Motörhead and Snaggletooth and schlock-horror punkers The Misfits with their Misfits Fiend). Not just a great way for fans to interact with bands, Christmas card competitions encourage collective creativity and a communal experience for kindred spirits, uniting all under within an appealing cultural identity. Those are the kind of things that this season is all about, and as a bonus, you get some sweet artwork and something more interesting to look at than another lame Rudolf card. Metal up your ass! Merry Christmas! James’ previous column can be found here. 19 December 2008
